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LEADERSHIP Masterworks

When Strong Leadership Becomes Dangerous

How to Shepherd a Shepherd

When Strong Leadership Becomes Dangerous (Part 3): Restoring Leaders Before Sin Destroys Them

When Strong Leadership Becomes Dangerous Series

Royce White February 13, 2025 6-minute read

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One of the greatest misunderstandings in church leadership is the belief that shepherding flows only in one direction. We picture the pastor shepherding the congregation, the elders shepherding the members, and mature believers discipling younger believers. All of that is true. What we often forget is that shepherds themselves also need shepherding.

No man graduates beyond the need for loving correction. No pastor becomes so mature that he no longer requires accountability. No elder reaches a point where pride, fear, selfish ambition, or unbelief can no longer gain a foothold in his heart.
The moment a shepherd becomes practically un-shepherdable, he has entered dangerous territory.

That is why God never designed church leadership around one man. He gave elders to the church not merely to help accomplish ministry, but to help guard one another’s hearts. Every elder is simultaneously a shepherd and one who must be shepherded.
Unfortunately, many churches misunderstand the goal when a leader begins exhibiting unhealthy patterns. The objective is not to remove him as quickly as possible. Nor is it to protect his position at all costs. The goal is the same goal Christ always has for His people: repentance, restoration, and renewed usefulness. That changes everything. Because we are not trying to win an argument. We are trying to win a brother.

The process usually begins with private, loving conversations. Wise elders do not begin with accusations. They begin with questions. They seek understanding before drawing conclusions. They invite the leader to describe his own perspective. They ask how he believes others experience his leadership. They listen carefully, not merely to his answers, but to his heart.

Sometimes the first conversation accomplishes more than anyone expected. A godly shepherd may simply have developed blind spots. Once those blind spots are lovingly exposed, he grieves over them. He asks forgiveness. He begins making changes immediately because his deepest desire is to honor Christ more faithfully. Those situations are deeply encouraging.

More often, however, genuine repentance unfolds gradually. Long-established habits rarely disappear overnight. A leader who has spent years interrupting others, speaking harshly, controlling discussions, or dismissing opposing viewpoints will not suddenly become patient and gentle in one afternoon. Sanctification is usually progressive.
That is why elders must learn to distinguish between repentance and perfection.
The question is not whether the leader stumbles again. The question is whether he responds differently when he does. 

Does he acknowledge his sin more quickly? 
Does he seek forgiveness without qualification? 
Does he invite accountability instead of avoiding it? 
Does he become increasingly teachable? 
Does he begin asking trusted people how they are experiencing his leadership?
Is there growing evidence that his heart is becoming softer?

Those are encouraging signs because they reveal movement beneath the surface. The behavior is changing because the heart is changing. Unfortunately, not every response is genuine repentance. Sometimes leaders become more careful without becoming more humble. They learn the vocabulary of repentance without embracing the reality of repentance. They modify their behavior around those who possess authority over them while continuing to treat those beneath them exactly as before. This is one of the easiest traps for elder boards to miss.

A leader who fears losing his position can become remarkably skilled at appearing compliant. He becomes noticeably warmer around the senior pastor. He is careful during elder meetings. He chooses his words more thoughtfully. Yet staff members continue walking away discouraged. Volunteers still feel intimidated. Honest disagreement remains unsafe. The atmosphere underneath his leadership changes very little.

That is not transformation. That is adaptation.

Real repentance produces consistency. The same man who speaks graciously to the senior pastor should speak graciously to the administrative assistant. The same humility shown before the elder board should be visible during an ordinary staff meeting. The same patience demonstrated in public should characterize private conversations. Christ transforms people from the inside out. Image management works from the outside in.
Elders should therefore pay less attention to polished conversations and more attention to consistent fruit.

Has the atmosphere around this leader changed?
Do people increasingly feel safe telling him difficult truths?
Are staff members becoming more candid?
Do meetings produce greater freedom rather than greater anxiety?
Are relationships healing?
Are former critics becoming hopeful?
Is trust slowly returning?

These are the kinds of questions that reveal whether repentance has reached the heart.
Another encouraging sign appears when the leader himself begins inviting correction. Instead of waiting for difficult conversations, he initiates them. He asks trusted brothers, “What are you seeing that I may not be seeing?” He thanks people for difficult feedback instead of defending himself. He becomes increasingly aware of his own weaknesses and increasingly dependent upon the grace of God.

That is what spiritual maturity looks like. Ironically, the safest leaders are often those who speak most openly about their own need for continued sanctification.

Every elder board should also understand that restoration requires patience. Trust is built slowly and should be rebuilt slowly. Forgiveness may be immediate. Confidence usually is not. The goal is never to rush a leader back into unrestricted influence simply because he has expressed sorrow. Scripture consistently joins repentance with fruit worthy of repentance. Time allows that fruit to become visible.

Occasionally, however, a leader refuses to repent.

He minimizes concerns. He blames others. He dismisses those who were hurt. He becomes defensive. He grows increasingly isolated. He quietly retaliates against those who confronted him. He surrounds himself with people who tell him only what he wants to hear. When those patterns persist despite repeated loving intervention, the responsibility of the elders changes.

Love for the shepherd must now be expressed by refusing to enable his sin. Love for the flock requires protection. This is one of the hardest responsibilities elders will ever face. No faithful elder enjoys restricting another man’s ministry. No godly church celebrates discipline. Every step should be marked by grief, prayer, patience, and repeated invitations to repentance.

Yet there comes a point when failing to act no longer protects the shepherd. It protects the sin. That distinction is critical. Biblical discipline is never revenge. It is rescue. Its purpose is to awaken a wandering brother before greater destruction occurs. Sometimes the Lord graciously uses that painful process to produce genuine repentance that years of gentle conversations could not accomplish.

Whether the outcome is restoration or removal, the church should remember that no one wins when a shepherd falls. Families suffer. Friendships fracture. Churches grieve. The reputation of Christ is dishonored before a watching world. That reality should produce tears, not triumph. Ultimately, every elder board should ask itself one question before confronting any leader:

“Are we trying to preserve a position, or are we trying to restore a brother?”

If the answer is the latter, the conversations will sound different. They will be marked by humility rather than accusation, by hope rather than suspicion, and by love rather than frustration.

The Chief Shepherd has never stopped shepherding His undershepherds. Neither should we. For one day every pastor, every elder, every ministry leader, and every believer will stand before the same Chief Shepherd. On that day, none of us will be evaluated by the size of our ministries, the influence of our leadership, or the admiration of our followers. We will give an account for how faithfully we reflected the character of the One who entrusted His sheep to our care.

May God grant us leaders who are not merely strong enough to lead others, but humble enough to be led themselves.

Part 1 and Part 2

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