Setting Boundaries with Outlaws!
[ This is Part 2 of a 3 Part Series; Part 1 is here: Part 3, here ] We Still Haven’t Established Who the…
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Leadership Matter: Personality & People
When Leadership Makes Truth Too Expensive
Domineering leadership does more than wound people. When telling the truth becomes expensive, people begin editing reality, Witnesses for Reality stop testifying, and leaders can become increasingly blind to what their leadership is doing to the people entrusted to them.
When the Problem Becomes the Pattern
Many couples believe they are repeatedly fighting about money, children, work, sex, or household responsibilities when the deeper problem is the pattern that develops around those disagreements. Decades of couple research reveal how blame, demand, withdrawal, emotional reactivity, and avoidance can become self-reinforcing cycles—and how husband and wife can learn a healthier way through conflict.
A Preacher Is Not Necessarily a Pastor
Preaching, teaching, shepherding, and leading overlap, but they are not the same competencies. Churches can easily mistake visible preaching ability for pastoral competence—and pastors can make the same mistake about themselves. Faithful stewardship requires leaders to recognize their personality propensities, develop what must be developed, delegate what should be delegated, and make sure the people entrusted to them are actually being shepherded well.
Micromanagement Creates the Dependence It Fears
Micromanagement does not merely control dependent people. Over time, it can teach capable people to stop exercising judgment, wait for permission, and become increasingly dependent upon the leader. Faithful leadership protects the work while deliberately training people, transferring authority, and reducing oversight as competence and responsibility grow.
You Cannot Grow What You Cannot See
We cannot intentionally grow what we cannot accurately see. Awareness helps us recognize reality, understand our personality and patterns, examine the stories we tell ourselves, receive what others can see from where they stand, and bring what we discover into intentional action.
Which Is More Important—Speaking the Truth or Speaking in Love?
We often act as though we must choose between speaking truth and speaking in love. God never gave us that choice. Truth without love can become a weapon, while love without truth can become avoidance. Christian maturity requires the WHAT and the HOW—bringing what is true with humility, mercy, gentleness, self-awareness, and genuine love for the person receiving it.
When Nothing Is Wrong, But Something Is Missing?
Some church leaders are not harsh, abusive, or obviously destructive, yet the people around them know something important is missing. This article examines leadership by omission, personality blind spots, leadership development, character, trust, shepherding, and how an ordinary leadership deficiency can become a destructive pattern.
How Leaders Create Culture—Whether They Mean To or Not
Culture is not primarily what an organization says it values. It is what leaders model, tolerate, reward, celebrate, correct, ignore, and repeatedly permit. Learn the culture before trying to change it, preserve what is healthy, confront what is dysfunctional, and intentionally build a place where good people can flourish.
When Leaders Refuse to Make the Decision
A leader may postpone making a formal decision, but practical decisions are still being made every day. The work continues, the cost keeps rising, and someone else carries the burden. Not deciding is still a decision—usually one made at someone else’s expense.