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How to Better Love Your Wife

One Simple Question That Can Change the Atmosphere of Your Marriage.

Most husbands never ask it... but every wife hopes they will.

How to Better Love Your Wife Series · Episode 3 of many!

Royce White November 1, 2025 2-minute read

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Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”
Ephesians 5:25

Over the next couple of days, find a quiet time when it’s just the two of you and ask your bride one simple question:

“What are three things I can do that best express love to you?”

Then… listen.

Don’t defend yourself. Don’t explain why you already do those things. Don’t debate whether they should matter. And don’t ask the question unless you really want the answer.

Just listen.

Ask questions only to make sure you understand what she’s saying. Remember, this isn’t about proving your point or getting your wife to see your side or even trying to look better. It’s about learning how she receives love.

You may even hear something that surprises you. You may think, “Really? That’s important to you?” It may not even be something that would make your own list. That’s okay. The goal isn’t to love your wife the way you naturally express love. The goal is to love your wife in a way that she actually experiences it.

Whether your wife spends her days at home with children or works outside the home, she carries burdens you don’t always see. She has good days and hard days just like you do. She needs to know that her husband not only loves her, but is paying attention to her heart.

As husbands, we have the privilege of reflecting Christ’s love to our wives. Imperfectly? Absolutely. But let’s be the best picture we can be.

After you’ve had this conversation, don’t file it away somewhere in the back of your mind. Put those three things where you’ll see them. Then begin working on them… one at a time, one day at a time.

Here’s another thought. Do this again every three or four months. People grow. Seasons change. The things that encourage your wife today may not be the same things she needs six months from now.

And after you’ve gotten pretty good at asking this question, invite her to ask you the same thing. That’s how marriages move from keeping score to serving one another.

Maybe start tonight.

Remember date night. Maybe stop by the store on the way home and pick up a single flower. Maybe call her from work just to say, “I was thinking about you.”

Prayer: Lord, help me love my wife in ways that reach her heart. Give me ears that are quick to listen, a heart that is willing to learn, and a desire to serve her as Christ has loved me.

Much love and blessings,

Royce

Scripture referenced: Ephesians 5:25; James 1:19; Philippians 2:3-4; 1 Peter 3:7; Romans 12:10

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