The Biblical Character of a Shepherd

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Pastors and elders are entrusted with something that does not belong to them: the people of God. The church belongs to Christ. He purchased her with His blood, He remains her Head and Chief Shepherd, and every man called to lead within His church exercises authority that is both derived from Christ and accountable to Christ.

Scripture therefore has much to say not only about what spiritual leaders teach and accomplish, but about who they are and how they treat people. Biblical shepherds must teach truth, protect the flock, confront sin, correct error, exercise discipline, and sometimes make difficult decisions. Yet the same Scriptures that command courage and firmness repeatedly require humility, gentleness, patience, self-control, kindness, hospitality, gracious speech, and sacrificial love.

These are not competing virtues. They are dimensions of mature Christian leadership.

These Scriptures speak with particular force to pastors and elders because God has entrusted them with authority and responsibility for His people. But the character they describe is not reserved for those who hold church office. Humility, gentleness, patience, self-control, kindness, gracious speech, forgiveness, sacrificial love, and concern for the good of others are marks of Christian maturity for every believer. Indeed, many of these commands were originally given to entire churches, not merely their leaders. If we rightly expect those who lead us to demonstrate these qualities, we should be equally willing to ask whether they are increasingly evident in us.

The principles also reach beyond the church into every place where one person has influence or authority over another. Parents, spouses, business owners, executives, managers, teachers, mentors, coaches, and ministry leaders exercise different kinds and degrees of authority, but the underlying stewardship remains remarkably similar. The greater our influence, the greater our responsibility to use it for the good of those entrusted to our care rather than for ourselves. The application may look different—a parent is not an elder, an employer is not a pastor, and a spouse does not possess ecclesiastical authority—but humility remains humility, pride remains pride, kindness remains kindness, and love remains love. None of us should demand from our leaders a Christlike character that we are unwilling to pursue ourselves.

Biblical gentleness is not the absence of strength. It is strength governed by love and placed under the authority of Christ.

The following passages provide a biblical portrait of the character, conduct, responsibilities, and heart of those entrusted with leadership among God’s people—and, in many cases, of the character Christ intends to cultivate in all His people.

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Christ: The Pattern for Every Leader

1. Matthew 11:28–30

“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Jesus does not merely command gentleness and humility; He describes Himself as “gentle and humble in heart.” Every Christian shepherd serves beneath the Chief Shepherd and therefore looks first to Christ for the character of leadership. Remarkably, infinite authority and genuine humility reside perfectly in the same Person. Christ demonstrates that gentleness is not weakness and humility is not timidity. The One possessing all authority invites weary and burdened people to come near Him.

2. John 10:11–15

“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd, and the sheep are not his own. When he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf pounces on them and scatters the flock. The man runs away because he is a hired servant and is unconcerned for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know My sheep and My sheep know Me, just as the Father knows Me and I know the Father. And I lay down My life for the sheep.”

Jesus defines shepherding sacrificially. The shepherd does not use the sheep for his welfare; he gives himself for theirs. He knows them, protects them, remains with them when danger comes, and accepts personal cost for their good. Pastoral authority modeled after Christ therefore moves toward sacrifice rather than self-preservation.

3. John 13:14–15

“So if I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example so that you should do as I have done for you.”

Jesus does not cease being Lord when He kneels with a towel. That is precisely the point. His authority makes His service more astonishing, not less authoritative. Christian leaders do not surrender leadership by serving; they demonstrate what leadership under Christ looks like.

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Authority That Serves Rather Than Rules Over

4. Matthew 20:25–26

“But Jesus called them aside and said, ‘You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their superiors exercise authority over them. It shall not be this way among you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant.’”

Jesus draws a deliberate distinction between worldly and kingdom authority. The world’s instinct is to use position to compel, control, and elevate the leader. Christ’s model uses authority to serve. His words are unequivocal: “It shall not be this way among you.” Biblical leadership retains genuine authority while rejecting domination as its method.

5. Mark 10:42–45

“So Jesus called them together and said, ‘You know that those regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their superiors exercise authority over them. But it shall not be this way among you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be the slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.’”

Christ grounds servant leadership in His own mission. The Son of Man possessed supreme authority yet came to serve and ultimately to give His life. Christian leadership therefore cannot be understood primarily in terms of privilege, position, recognition, or control. Authority becomes an opportunity to expend oneself faithfully for others.

6. Luke 22:26

“But you shall not be like them. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who leads like the one who serves.”

Jesus does not say there will be no one who leads. He specifically speaks of “the one who leads.” What He transforms is the posture of the leader. Kingdom leadership combines genuine responsibility and authority with the disposition of a servant.

7. Matthew 23:8–12

“But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth your father, for you have one Father, who is in heaven. Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one Instructor, the Christ. The greatest among you shall be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”

Christian leaders never cease being brothers among brothers. Office establishes responsibility and authority, but it never changes who ultimately owns the church or who possesses supreme authority. Christ remains the Teacher and Head. Greatness in His kingdom therefore moves downward into humble service rather than upward into self-exaltation.

8. 2 Corinthians 1:24

“Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy, because it is by faith that you stand firm.”

Paul possessed extraordinary apostolic authority, yet explicitly rejected using that authority to dominate believers. His language is revealing: “we work with you for your joy.” Biblical authority does not require the abandonment of leadership; it governs the purpose and manner in which leadership is exercised.

9. 2 Corinthians 4:5

“For we do not proclaim ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.”

This verse establishes the proper hierarchy of Christian leadership in remarkably few words. Jesus Christ is Lord. We are servants. The more clearly those realities remain in view, the less likely ministry authority is to become personal ownership.

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Shepherds, Stewards, and the People Entrusted to Them

10. 1 Peter 5:2–6

“Be shepherds of God’s flock that is among you, watching over them not out of compulsion, but because it is God’s will; not out of greed, but out of eagerness; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away. Young men, in the same way, submit yourselves to your elders. And all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, so that in due time He may exalt you.”

Few passages provide a clearer theology of pastoral authority. It is God’s flock, the people are entrusted to the elders, and Jesus remains the Chief Shepherd. Elders genuinely oversee the flock, but Peter explicitly forbids “lording it over” those entrusted to them. The alternative is not passive leadership but exemplary leadership: shepherds lead by becoming examples worth following.

11. Acts 20:28–31

“Keep watch over yourselves and the entire flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which He purchased with His own blood. I know that after my departure, savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number, men will rise up and distort the truth to draw away disciples after them. Therefore be alert and remember that for three years I never stopped warning each of you night and day with tears.”

Paul’s order deserves attention: “Keep watch over yourselves and the entire flock.” Shepherds must guard both. Leaders can become so occupied watching everyone else that they neglect their own hearts. The church has been purchased by God and therefore must be protected from external threats, internal error, and dangers arising within leadership itself.

12. Ezekiel 34:4

“You have not strengthened the weak, healed the sick, bound up the injured, brought back the strays, or searched for the lost. Instead, you have ruled them with violence and cruelty.”

God condemns shepherds who use authority contrary to the welfare of the sheep. Notice what faithful shepherding should accomplish: strengthening, healing, binding wounds, recovering wanderers, and seeking the lost. Authority itself is not condemned. Authority that becomes oppressive rather than protective is.

13. Jeremiah 23:1–4

“Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of My pasture!” declares the LORD. Therefore this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says about the shepherds who tend My people: “You have scattered My flock and driven them away, and have not attended to them. Behold, I will attend to you for the evil of your deeds,” declares the LORD. “Then I Myself will gather the remnant of My flock from all the lands to which I have banished them, and I will return them to their pasture, where they will be fruitful and multiply. I will raise up shepherds over them who will tend them, and they will no longer be afraid or dismayed, nor will any go missing,” declares the LORD.”

God evaluates shepherds partly by what their leadership produces among the sheep. Destructive shepherds scatter and frighten; faithful shepherds tend the flock so that the people are no longer afraid or dismayed. Leadership fruit includes what happens spiritually and relationally among those being led.

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The Character God Requires of Those Who Lead

14. Titus 1:7–8

“As God’s steward, an overseer must be above reproach—not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not greedy for money. Instead, he must be hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined.”

The opening phrase is foundational: “As God’s steward.” The church does not belong to the elder. Neither do the people. Authority is entrusted rather than owned. Consequently, self-will and quick temper are not merely unfortunate personality tendencies; they are contrary to the character required of a steward representing God.

15. 1 Timothy 3:2–3

“An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not dependent on wine, not violent but gentle, peaceable, and free of the love of money.”

These are qualifications for office, not merely admirable qualities. Teaching ability appears alongside self-control, hospitality, gentleness, peaceableness, and respectable conduct. A man’s theological knowledge, preaching ability, intelligence, charisma, organizational skill, or ministry accomplishments cannot simply substitute for the character God requires.

16. 2 Timothy 2:24–25

“And a servant of the Lord must not be quarrelsome, but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, and forbearing. He must gently correct those who oppose him, in the hope that God may grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth.”

This passage destroys the false choice between truth and gentleness. Paul explicitly anticipates opposition and correction. The servant of the Lord must sometimes tell another person that he is wrong. Yet even correction is to be undertaken gently, patiently, and with restoration as its goal. Being right never gives a Christian leader permission to be sinful in the way he handles being right.

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Correction, Confrontation, and Restoration

17. Galatians 6:1

“Brothers, if someone is caught in a trespass, you who are spiritual should restore him with a spirit of gentleness. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.”

The objective of biblical correction is restoration, and the prescribed disposition is gentleness. The person doing the correcting must simultaneously watch his own heart. Confronting another person’s sin never grants immunity from pride, anger, self-righteousness, or temptation in the one doing the confronting.

18. Matthew 18:15–17

“If your brother sins against you, go and confront him privately. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, regard him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

Gentleness does not mean avoiding confrontation. Jesus commands His people to address sin and provides an orderly process for doing so. Notice, however, the relational objective: “you have won your brother over.” Biblical confrontation seeks truth, repentance, restoration, and the good of the person being confronted.

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The Strength of Gentleness

19. Proverbs 15:1

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Words can either de-escalate conflict or intensify it. Gentleness is disciplined strength that refuses unnecessarily to feed anger. Leaders should recognize that their words carry additional weight because authority amplifies communication.

20. Matthew 12:20

“A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not extinguish, till He leads justice to victory.”

Christ possesses perfect strength without crushing the fragile. A bruised reed requires care, and a smoldering wick needs protection rather than another gust of wind. Christ’s shepherds should therefore be especially careful with wounded, fearful, discouraged, and vulnerable people.

21. Luke 6:45

“The good man brings good things out of the good treasure of his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil treasure of his heart. For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”

Jesus moves the issue of speech beneath technique to the heart. Words reveal what is occurring within us. When anger, contempt, impatience, arrogance, kindness, compassion, mercy, or humility become patterns, they eventually become audible. Lasting change therefore requires more than vocabulary management; it requires heart examination and transformation.

22. 1 Thessalonians 2:6–7

“Nor did we seek praise from you or from anyone else, although as apostles of Christ we had authority to demand it. On the contrary, we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother caring for her children.”

Paul intentionally contrasts legitimate authority with gentleness. He possessed authority yet voluntarily restrained how he used it for the good of those he served. Mature leadership does not ask merely, “What am I authorized to do?” It also asks, “How should love govern the exercise of that authority?”

23. 1 Thessalonians 2:11–12

“For you know that we treated each of you as a father treats his own children—encouraging you, comforting you, and urging you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into His own kingdom and glory.”

Paul combines encouragement, comfort, and exhortation. Biblical shepherding is neither sentimental softness nor relentless correction. A faithful shepherd can urge people strongly toward holiness while simultaneously encouraging and comforting them.

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Building People Rather Than Using People

24. Ephesians 4:11–16

“And it was He who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to equip the saints for works of ministry and to build up the body of Christ, until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God, as we mature to the full measure of the stature of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed about by the waves and carried around by every wind of teaching and by the clever cunning of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Christ Himself, who is the head. From Him the whole body, fitted and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love through the work of each individual part.”

Pastoral leadership exists to equip other people rather than make them perpetually dependent upon the leader. Healthy shepherds build saints who increasingly minister, discern, serve, and mature. Truth and love remain inseparable throughout that process, and Christ—not the pastor—remains the Head.

25. Ephesians 4:32

“Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Kindness and tenderheartedness are fundamental Christian obligations. Leadership does not provide an exemption from them. The greater a person’s influence, the greater the opportunity to model the character expected of every believer.

26. Philippians 2:3

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves.”

Pride transforms stewardship into self-interest. Humility changes the leader’s question from “How does this affect me?” to “What do faithfulness to Christ and love for these people require of me?” People must never become instruments for advancing the leader’s reputation, agenda, comfort, or ambitions.

27. Colossians 3:12–14

“Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with hearts of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with one another and forgive any complaint you may have against someone else. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which is the bond of perfect unity.”

Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and love form the relational clothing of Christians. Leadership does not replace these virtues with efficiency, decisiveness, or strength. Mature leadership brings strength and competence under the governance of Christian character.

28. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

“Therefore encourage and build one another up, just as you are already doing.”

Christian influence should ordinarily leave people stronger. Leaders must sometimes correct, confront, discipline, and make decisions others dislike, but even those actions ultimately seek edification rather than destruction.

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The Inner Life of the Leader

29. 1 Timothy 6:11

“But you, O man of God, flee from these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness.”

Gentleness must be pursued. Scripture therefore does not permit us to excuse sinful behavior as simply “the way I am.” Personality may help explain our tendencies, but it does not excuse our sin. Character can and must be transformed as the Spirit conforms us to Christ.

30. James 3:13

“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good conduct, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.”

Wisdom is demonstrated behaviorally. Knowledge, intelligence, theological sophistication, verbal ability, and education do not by themselves establish wisdom. James expects genuine wisdom to become visible in humble conduct.

31. James 3:17

“But the wisdom from above is first of all pure, then peace-loving, gentle, accommodating, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial, and sincere.”

James provides a powerful diagnostic for leadership claiming to be wise. Wisdom from God produces recognizable fruit: purity, peace, gentleness, reasonableness, mercy, impartiality, and sincerity. The biblical question is therefore not merely whether a decision was intelligent, but what kind of wisdom produced it.

32. Galatians 5:22–23

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

A pastor does not graduate beyond ordinary Christian character when he assumes office. Quite the opposite: those who lead should increasingly model the fruit the Spirit produces in every believer. Love, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control are not leadership techniques. They are evidence of the Spirit’s transforming work.

33. 1 Corinthians 13:1–5

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a ringing gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have absolute faith so as to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and exult in the surrender of my body, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs.”

Extraordinary giftedness cannot compensate for the absence of love. Eloquence, knowledge, faith, sacrifice, and ministry accomplishment may impress people while still failing the fundamental test of Christian character. Love is patient and kind; it refuses pride, self-seeking, dishonor, and easily provoked anger.

34. 1 Corinthians 8:1

“Now about food sacrificed to idols: We know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up.”

Knowledge is indispensable to teaching ministry, but knowledge carries a spiritual danger: it can inflate the person who possesses it. Love moves in the opposite direction—it builds others. Theologically knowledgeable leaders therefore need humility precisely because they know much.

35. Romans 12:3, 10, 16

“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but think of yourself with sober judgment, according to the measure of faith God has given you.”

“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Outdo yourselves in honoring one another.”

“Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but enjoy the company of the lowly. Do not be conceited.”

Paul joins sober self-assessment with deliberate honor toward others. Healthy leaders understand both their responsibilities and their limitations. Humility does not require pretending we have no gifts; it requires remembering that our gifts are gifts and refusing to make ourselves the center.

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The Stewardship of Our Words

36. Exodus 20:16

“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.”

The ninth commandment establishes our obligation to truth in what we say about others. Leadership carries particular responsibility here because a leader’s words can significantly affect another person’s reputation. Truth must therefore be spoken accurately, fairly, and responsibly.

37. Proverbs 18:21

“Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Words possess remarkable power to strengthen or destroy. A leader’s words carry additional weight because position gives them credibility and reach. A careless sentence from someone with authority may remain in another person’s memory long after the speaker has forgotten saying it.

38. Matthew 7:12

“In everything, then, do to others as you would have them do to you. For this is the essence of the Law and the Prophets.”

The Golden Rule governs speech as well as actions. Before describing another person, criticizing another ministry, or addressing someone’s failure, Christian leaders should consider whether they would regard the same treatment as truthful, fair, loving, and appropriate if directed toward them.

39. Matthew 12:36

“But I tell you that men will give an account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.”

Words are morally consequential. Jesus places even careless speech under divine accountability. This should create particular sobriety in those whose words influence congregations, staffs, families, organizations, and reputations.

40. Mark 7:20–23

“He continued: ‘What comes out of a man, that is what defiles him. For from within the hearts of men come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, debauchery, envy, slander, arrogance, and foolishness. All these evils come from within, and these are what defile a man.’”

Jesus identifies slander and arrogance as heart issues. Destructive speech therefore cannot ultimately be corrected merely by learning better communication. We must address the pride, anger, envy, contempt, fear, or self-interest from which sinful words emerge.

41. Ephesians 4:15

“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Christ Himself, who is the head.”

Christian love does not avoid truth, and Christian truth does not abandon love. Scripture refuses to permit us to choose between them. Truth without love can become a weapon; love without truth becomes sentimentality. Christian maturity requires both.

42. Ephesians 4:29

“Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up the one in need and bringing grace to those who listen.”

The biblical standard for speech extends beyond factual accuracy. “Is it true?” is essential, but it is not always the final question. We must also ask whether our words are appropriate, constructive, timely, and gracious. It is possible to say something true in a sinful way.

43. Colossians 4:6

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

Grace should characterize Christian speech consistently. Gracious speech does not require dishonesty, flattery, or avoidance of difficult truths. It means truth is communicated by people who remember how much grace they themselves have received.

44. 1 Timothy 4:12

“Let no one despise your youth, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.”

Spiritual leaders teach through example as well as instruction. Paul specifically includes speech. The credibility of leadership therefore depends partly upon whether the leader’s own conduct demonstrates the character he calls others to pursue.

45. Titus 3:2

“to malign no one, and to be peaceable and gentle, showing full consideration to everyone.”

The scope of Paul’s command is striking: malign no one and show consideration to everyone. Serious disagreement does not cancel this obligation. Neither does another person’s poor behavior give us permission to respond sinfully.

46. 1 Peter 2:1

“Rid yourselves, therefore, of all malice, deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander.”

Peter treats slander as something Christians deliberately put away. Notice the company in which he places it: malice, deceit, hypocrisy, and envy. Sinful speech is therefore not merely a communication problem but a spiritual problem requiring repentance.

47. 1 Peter 5:5

“Young men, in the same way, submit yourselves to your elders. And all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’”

Even while recognizing elder authority, Peter commands everyone to put on humility toward one another. Submission to leadership never grants leaders permission for pride. Authority and humility are intended to coexist.

48. James 3:1–2

“Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to control his whole body.”

Teachers bear greater accountability because their words carry greater influence. James immediately connects teaching with control of the tongue. Public ministry therefore increases rather than diminishes the importance of disciplined speech.

49. James 3:5

“In the same way, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it boasts of great things. Consider how small a spark sets a great forest ablaze.”

A few words can produce damage wildly disproportionate to their length. This danger increases with influence. A disparaging sentence spoken by a respected leader can affect relationships, confidence, reputations, ministries, and communities.

50. James 4:11

“Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. And if you judge the law, you are not a practitioner of the law, but a judge of it.”

Scripture’s prohibition against slander does not eliminate legitimate judgment, correction, discipline, or truthful warnings about dangerous conduct. Scripture sometimes requires those things. But confronting sin never grants permission to sin against the person being confronted.

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When Leadership Goes Wrong

51. Proverbs 28:16

“A leader who lacks judgment is also a great oppressor, but he who hates dishonest profit will prolong his days.”

Authority magnifies character. Poor judgment in an ordinary relationship may hurt another person; poor judgment combined with significant authority can damage an entire organization or congregation. Leadership therefore increases the importance of wisdom, character, and accountability.

52. 3 John 9–10

“I have written to the church about this, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will not accept our instruction. So if I come, I will call attention to his malicious slander against us. And unsatisfied with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers and forbids those who want to do so, even putting them out of the church.”

Diotrephes provides one of Scripture’s clearest brief portraits of corrupted spiritual leadership. The problem begins with the heart—he “loves to be first”—and then manifests itself through rejection of accountability, malicious speech, control over others, and misuse of ecclesiastical authority. The passage is a sobering reminder that a desire for preeminence can eventually distort the exercise of legitimate leadership.

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The Strength of Gentleness

It is fitting to return to one of the simplest passages in this study:

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” — Proverbs 15:1

This simple proverb captures a principle running through nearly every passage above. Gentleness does not mean indecision, passivity, cowardice, or unwillingness to confront evil. Jesus overturned tables. Paul rebuked Peter publicly. Elders are commanded to refute error, guard the flock, exercise discipline, and confront those who persist in sin.

Yet Scripture never allows courage to become cruelty, conviction to become contempt, authority to become domination, correction to become humiliation, or strength to become self-will.

Biblical gentleness is not the absence of strength. It is strength governed by love and placed under the authority of Christ.

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The Biblical Portrait of a Shepherd

Taken together, these Scriptures present a remarkably consistent picture of spiritual leadership.

An elder’s interpersonal character is part of his qualification for office. Scripture does not evaluate pastors only by whether they preach accurately, defend sound doctrine, grow churches, lead effectively, or accomplish important things. First Timothy and Titus explicitly include self-control, hospitality, gentleness, peaceableness, discipline, and freedom from quarrelsomeness among the qualifications for office. Character is not secondary to ministry. Character is part of ministry.

Biblical authority is stewardship, not ownership. This may be the most important principle running through these passages. The people belong to God. Christ purchased the church with His blood. Jesus remains the Head of the church and the Chief Shepherd. Elders are stewards and undershepherds. Therefore, the question is never simply, “Do I have the authority to do this?” A faithful steward must also ask, “How would the Owner have me exercise the authority He entrusted to me?”

The purpose of authority is the good of those entrusted to us. Jesus repeatedly contrasts kingdom leadership with worldly domination. The world asks how authority can be used to accomplish the leader’s objectives. Christ demonstrates authority by washing feet and laying down His life. Paul describes ministry as working with people “for your joy.” Peter commands shepherds to lead by example rather than domination.

Speech reveals the heart. Jesus repeatedly moves our attention from words to their source. “Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” Persistent harshness, contempt, arrogance, slander, impatience, or anger therefore requires more than communication training. Scripture calls us to examine what those words reveal about the heart.

Truth and love must never be separated. Shepherds must speak truth. They must confront sin, expose error, protect the flock, exercise discipline, and sometimes say things people do not want to hear. But Scripture commands us to speak “the truth in love.” The presence of truth does not automatically sanctify the manner in which truth is delivered.

Correction should seek restoration. Matthew 18 and Galatians 6 make this particularly clear. Biblical love does not ignore sin. It goes to the person, tells the truth, and, when necessary, brings others and ultimately the church into the process. Yet the goal remains winning the brother and restoring the sinner. Correction is not an opportunity to demonstrate superiority. It is an act of stewardship undertaken for another person’s good.

Leadership magnifies both character and its consequences. A person’s words, anger, pride, generosity, patience, humility, and love affect others. Authority multiplies that effect. This is one reason James warns that teachers will be judged more strictly. The greater the influence, the greater the responsibility to steward that influence carefully.

Giftedness never compensates for the absence of love. Scripture leaves remarkably little room for the idea that extraordinary preaching, theological knowledge, intelligence, organizational effectiveness, charisma, or ministry success can compensate for deficiencies of character. Paul goes much further: without love, extraordinary giftedness ultimately amounts to nothing.

And these truths do not belong only to pastors and elders. The biblical standard becomes especially weighty when God entrusts someone with spiritual oversight, but humility, gentleness, patience, kindness, self-control, gracious speech, forgiveness, and sacrificial love are marks of Christian maturity for every believer. We should therefore be cautious about using these Scriptures primarily as measuring sticks for other people. Before they become standards by which we evaluate our leaders, they should become mirrors in which we examine ourselves.

The same principle follows us into every sphere of leadership. A business owner may possess legitimate organizational authority. A parent possesses genuine parental authority. A teacher, mentor, coach, manager, husband, ministry leader, or executive carries responsibilities appropriate to his or her role. Those authorities are not identical, and Scripture does not treat them as interchangeable. Yet wherever we have been entrusted with influence over another person, that influence becomes something we are responsible to steward. Strength should serve rather than exploit. Authority should protect rather than intimidate. Knowledge should build rather than inflate. Correction should seek restoration rather than humiliation. And love should govern them all.

Finally, the standard is Christ Himself.

He possessed absolute authority and washed feet.

He confronted sin and welcomed sinners.

He rebuked error and received children.

He exposed hypocrisy and restored failures.

He spoke truth without compromise and loved sacrificially without limit.

He was strong enough to confront His enemies and gentle enough not to break a bruised reed.

That is why biblical leadership cannot finally be reduced to techniques, policies, structures, competencies, or personality. The ultimate goal of the Christian shepherd is not merely to become a better leader.

It is to become increasingly like the Chief Shepherd.

And therefore the question every pastor and elder should regularly bring before the Lord is not merely:

“Am I leading effectively?”

But also:

“Are the people entrusted to me increasingly experiencing the character of Christ through the way I lead them?”

And perhaps every one of us should ask one more:

“Are the people God has placed around me increasingly experiencing the character of Christ through the way I treat them?”

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Additional Scriptures for Study

The following passages further illuminate biblical leadership, humility, stewardship, speech, correction, love, servant-hearted authority, and the character God desires in those who belong to Him:

Micah 6:8; Proverbs 11:2; Proverbs 16:18; Proverbs 27:5–6; Proverbs 29:23; Matthew 5:5; Matthew 7:1–5; Matthew 18:1–4; Luke 14:7–11; John 15:12–13; Romans 12:9–21; Romans 14:13; Romans 15:1–3; 1 Corinthians 4:1–2; 1 Corinthians 10:24; 1 Corinthians 16:14; 2 Corinthians 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:19; Galatians 5:13–14; Ephesians 5:1–2; Philippians 2:4–8; Colossians 3:8–10; 1 Thessalonians 2:8; 1 Timothy 5:1–2; 2 Timothy 2:14; 2 Timothy 2:22–23; Titus 2:7–8; Hebrews 13:7; Hebrews 13:17; James 1:19–20; James 4:6–10; 1 Peter 3:8–9; 1 Peter 4:8–11; 1 John 3:16–18; 3 John 11.

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These Scriptures are not given to us as weapons for beating up leaders, because doing to leaders the very things we are warning leaders not to do to the flock would be both antithetical to the message and hypocritical in its application. They are given to provide hope—hope for the member of the flock, hope for the staff member serving under an elder, hope for the leader who sincerely wants to grow, because these are not merely preferences or leadership philosophies; they are the truths of God. They give us a way to lead up with humility and courage, a standard by which to examine ourselves, and a gracious basis upon which to exhort one another toward maturity. They call every leader to flee immaturity, pride, harshness, self-protection, and self-will, and to pursue Christlikeness so that we may lead well.

And through all of it, love is our standard and love is our calling. Jesus summarized our duty in two great commandments: love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37–40). On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.

So whatever authority we hold, whatever correction we give, whatever truth we speak, whatever responsibility we carry, and whatever influence God entrusts to us, the governing question remains:

Does this reflect love for God and love for the person in front of me?

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Five Questions for Reflection and Coaching

The purpose of these questions is not merely to evaluate what you know, but to help you examine how these truths are showing up in your life and leadership. Take your time with them. Resist the temptation to answer quickly or to think primarily about someone else who needs to hear this. Ask the Lord to help you see yourself clearly, invite someone you trust to speak honestly into your life, and identify where knowledge needs to become action. Applied knowledge repeated consistently becomes transformation.

1. When people experience my leadership, which characteristics of Christ described in these Scriptures are they most likely to experience—and which are they least likely to experience?
2. Where might I be confusing strength with harshness, authority with control, conviction with inflexibility, or correction with the right to speak without gentleness?
3. What do my words—especially when I am frustrated, opposed, disappointed, or under pressure—reveal about what is happening in my heart?
4. Is there someone under my leadership whom I have wounded, intimidated, discouraged, or failed to shepherd well? If so, what would love, humility, repentance, and restoration require of me now?
5. If love for God and love for my neighbor are the governing standards for everything else, what is one specific change I need to make in the way I lead or treat people this week?

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