The Addicted Leader: Recovery Is an Act of Leadership

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A successful leader can hide a remarkable amount of trouble behind a closed office door.

Imagine a CEO named Daren. He is fifty-two, respected in his industry, married, financially comfortable, and responsible for several hundred employees. His calendar starts before sunrise and frequently ends after dinner. People describe him as driven, energetic, decisive, and extraordinarily productive.

Most mornings begin the same way.

The alarm goes off at 4:30am. Daren slept five hours, maybe less. He reaches for his phone before his feet hit the floor. Email. Markets. Messages. Calendar. Problems.

Then coffee.

Not one cup. Several.

By seven he is moving. By nine he is commanding the room. By noon he has already made decisions involving more money than some people earn in a lifetime.

Nobody looking at Daren would think, There is a man losing control of his life.

That is part of the problem.

By late afternoon, Daren is exhausted, but he cannot stop. Another stimulant keeps him moving. At night he needs something else to make himself come down. Some evenings it is alcohol. Other nights it is the glow of a screen and something he would be horrified for his wife to discover. He tells himself none of it is really a problem because he is still functioning.

And he is functioning.

Brilliantly, in fact.

Until he isn’t.

There is a dangerous assumption among successful people that addiction looks like failure. Sometimes it does. But sometimes addiction wears an expensive suit, carries significant responsibility, gives excellent presentations, makes payroll, sits on boards, teaches Sunday school, leads organizations, and receives applause.

Sometimes the addicted person is the most productive person in the room.

And sometimes his productivity is helping him hide.

The Question Is Not Simply, “Can I Still Function?”

One of the easiest lies for a leader to believe is, If this were really a problem, my life would be falling apart.

But functioning is a terribly low standard for leadership.

The better questions are these: What is controlling me? What am I depending upon? What happens when I cannot have it? What am I hiding? What am I sacrificing to maintain it? And perhaps most importantly, what am I trying to get from this that I believe I cannot get without it?

Those questions reach much deeper than alcohol or drugs.

There are obvious addictions that most of us immediately recognize. Alcohol. Opioids. Cocaine. Pornography. Gambling. Prescription medications being used outside their intended purpose. Other compulsive patterns may be less dramatic but can still become controlling and destructive.

Then there are behaviors that we applaud right up until they begin consuming the person.

Work, for example.

A leader works seventy hours every week and we call him committed. He answers emails at 2:00 a.m. and we call him responsive. He lives on caffeine because his body is begging him to stop and we call him disciplined. He misses dinner, cancels vacations, ignores exhaustion, neglects friendships, barely sees his children, and assures his wife that this is simply “a demanding season.”

The demanding season has lasted eleven years.

We need to be careful here. Drinking coffee is not the same thing as opioid addiction. Working hard is not inherently pathological. Enjoying a glass of wine is not the same as alcoholism. These things differ enormously in their medical consequences, addictive potential, and danger.

But Scripture gives us a question that reaches beneath all of them.

Paul writes, “I will not be mastered by anything” (1 Corinthians 6:12 BSB).

That is an extraordinary leadership question:

What has begun to master me?

What Are You Really Trying to Accomplish?

Addiction is often discussed almost entirely in terms of the substance or behavior. Stop drinking. Stop looking. Stop gambling. Stop taking the pills. Stop working so much.

Certainly the behavior matters. Some behaviors must stop, and some require immediate professional intervention.

But leaders are accustomed to root-cause analysis everywhere except inside themselves.

If sales decline, we want to know why. If turnover increases, we investigate. If a manufacturing process begins producing defects, we trace the problem backward until we find the cause. Good leaders understand that repeatedly treating a symptom while refusing to investigate its source is poor leadership.

Then we come home and do exactly that with ourselves.

So let us ask the deeper question.

What are you trying to accomplish?

Perhaps you are trying to silence anxiety.

Perhaps you are trying to feel powerful.

Perhaps you are trying to escape loneliness.

Perhaps you are trying to sleep.

Perhaps you are trying to stay awake because you have created a life your body can no longer sustain.

Perhaps pornography gives you a counterfeit experience of intimacy without vulnerability. Alcohol quiets thoughts you do not want to think. Achievement gives you the affirmation you never received from your father. Work keeps you away from a marriage you do not know how to repair. Gambling provides the excitement ordinary life no longer produces. A prescription medication that once solved a legitimate medical problem has quietly become something you now believe you cannot function without.

Or perhaps your addiction is applause.

That one is particularly dangerous for leaders because organizations frequently supply it.

Every accomplishment gives you another little dose. Another promotion. Another sale. Another campus. Another acquisition. Another book. Another invitation. Another award.

More.

The question eventually becomes uncomfortable:

What am I trying to prove—and to whom?

If I become successful enough, will I finally be enough?

If I accomplish enough, will I finally be important?

If people need me enough, will I finally feel secure?

If I remain indispensable, will I finally be safe?

There is another way to ask it: What job has this addiction been doing for me?

That question matters because destructive behaviors usually survive for a reason. They provide something, prevent something, numb something, stimulate something, or help us avoid something. Whatever the behavior is costing you, at some level you have continued to believe that it is also giving you something you need.

Understanding that does not excuse the behavior. It helps expose it.

And eventually these cease to be merely addiction questions.

They become worship questions.

What am I asking this substance, behavior, accomplishment, or experience to provide that I should ultimately be seeking somewhere else?

Success Can Become Excellent Camouflage

Leadership makes recovery uniquely difficult because leadership teaches us to project competence.

People bring problems to us.

We solve them.

People become uncertain.

We provide confidence.

People panic.

We remain calm.

That pattern can gradually produce a dangerous internal conclusion: I am the person who helps. I cannot become the person who needs help.

That is nonsense, but it is powerful nonsense.

The higher you climb in an organization, the fewer people you may believe you can safely tell the truth.

A production worker may tell a supervisor, “I’m struggling.”

The CEO wonders, Who exactly am I supposed to tell?

What will the board think?

What will my employees think?

What will my investors think?

What will my church think?

What will my wife think?

What happens if people discover that the person who has been leading everyone else cannot lead himself through this?

So secrecy begins to look like wisdom.

It isn’t.

Secrecy is often the environment in which addiction becomes stronger.

Proverbs tells us, “He who conceals his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them will find mercy” (Proverbs 28:13 BSB).

James gives us another profoundly relational command: “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed” (James 5:16 BSB).

That does not mean a CEO struggling with addiction should announce it at Monday morning’s all-hands meeting. Transparency and indiscriminate disclosure are not the same thing. Leadership requires wisdom concerning what should be shared, with whom, and when.

But somebody needs to know the truth.

Not someday.

Somebody needs to know.

Your Position Does Not Exempt You From Reality

One of the principles I return to repeatedly in leadership is that reality does not negotiate with us.

You can ignore gravity. Gravity will not ignore you.

The same is true here.

Your title cannot repeal physiology. Your reputation cannot cancel consequences. Your intelligence cannot make an addictive substance harmless. Your organizational importance cannot make chronic sleep deprivation healthy. Your leadership ability cannot turn secrecy into freedom.

You may be enormously gifted.

You are still a creature.

You need sleep. You need limits. You need relationships. You need accountability. You need Christ. And sometimes you need a physician, counselor, recovery program, or treatment professional who knows considerably more about addiction than you do.

Recognizing that is not weakness.

It is stewardship.

Your body is a stewardship. Your mind is a stewardship. Your marriage is a stewardship. Your family is a stewardship. Your influence is a stewardship. The people whose livelihoods depend upon the decisions you make are a stewardship.

Getting help is therefore not stepping away from leadership.

Getting help may be one of the most responsible leadership decisions you have made in years.

So Where Does a Leader Actually Go?

This is where general encouragement becomes inadequate.

“Get some help” sounds wonderful until you are sitting alone in your office wondering whom you are supposed to call.

If your church has a mature recovery ministry, that may be an excellent starting point. A good recovery ministry can provide community, accountability, biblical encouragement, and people who understand that recovery rarely happens through determination alone.

If your church does not have one, ask a trusted pastor or mature Christian leader for help locating appropriate resources. You do not necessarily need to tell twelve people your story. You need to tell the right people the truth.

Depending upon the addiction, you may also need a licensed counselor, addiction specialist, physician, psychiatrist, or structured treatment program. Find someone experienced with the particular problem you are facing. A competent professional should understand both the addiction itself and the unusual pressures surrounding leadership, confidentiality, family, employment, and public responsibility.

This is particularly important for a senior executive. Confidentiality matters. Reputation matters. Fiduciary responsibility matters. The livelihood of other people may depend upon your judgment. Those realities are not reasons to avoid treatment. They are reasons to seek wise, qualified treatment.

And please do not assume that every addiction can safely be conquered by simply deciding tonight that tomorrow you will quit. Withdrawal from alcohol and certain medications can be medically dangerous. In those situations, medical guidance is not a lack of faith or courage. It is wisdom.

If you are an executive, owner, or C-suite leader, there may also be legitimate organizational questions that eventually require wise counsel. Your responsibilities may affect employees, shareholders, customers, finances, safety, or regulatory obligations. That does not mean broadcasting your struggle. It means refusing to let fear of professional consequences prevent you from responsibly addressing reality.

You do not have to solve the entire problem before you make the first call.

Start somewhere.

Call someone.

Tell the truth.

Do Not Wait Until the Consequences Make the Decision for You

Leaders have an unfortunate tendency to postpone intervention until circumstances remove their options.

The marriage collapses.

The spouse discovers the browser history.

The DUI happens.

The financial irregularity appears.

The prescription runs out.

The board notices.

The employee complains.

The doctor delivers frightening news.

The children stop expecting Dad to come home.

Then suddenly the leader is willing to get help.

But why wait for catastrophe to give you permission to do what wisdom is already telling you to do?

There is enormous dignity in saying, This is becoming a problem, and I am going to address it before it destroys something God has entrusted to me.

That is leadership.

You do not need to know today what the entire recovery journey will look like.

You need to take the next faithful step.

Recovery Is More Than Removing Something

There is another reason merely stopping is not enough.

If the addiction has been doing a job for you, removing it leaves the job vacant.

That may be one of the most important things for a leader beginning recovery to understand.

If alcohol has been helping you escape stress, what will you do with stress?

If pornography has been providing counterfeit intimacy, what will you do with loneliness and intimacy?

If work has been supplying your identity, who are you when you are not producing?

If achievement has been proving your worth, what happens when nobody applauds?

If stimulants have enabled you to maintain an impossible schedule, what happens when you begin honoring the limitations God built into your body?

If gambling has been giving you excitement, what will replace the thrill?

If the substance has been numbing pain, what happens when you can feel the pain again?

Recovery therefore requires more than subtraction.

It requires transformation.

Paul describes Christian transformation not merely as putting something off, but also being renewed and putting something on: “to put off your former way of life, your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be renewed in the spirit of your minds; and to put on the new self” (Ephesians 4:22–24 BSB).

Put off.

Be renewed.

Put on.

That is much richer than, Try harder not to do it again.

Real recovery asks what desires, fears, wounds, habits, beliefs, relationships, and patterns have been feeding the behavior. It builds new structures around truth. It welcomes accountability. It accepts appropriate limits. It learns different responses. It rebuilds damaged trust patiently rather than demanding that everyone immediately believe things have changed.

And for the Christian leader, recovery ultimately points beyond self-mastery to Christ.

You are not trying to become strong enough that you no longer need anyone.

You are learning how profoundly you have always needed Him.

What If You Are Reading This and Thinking, “Maybe”?

Then don’t argue yourself out of the question.

You do not need to call yourself an addict today.

You do not need to diagnose yourself.

You do not need to resign your job because an article made you uncomfortable.

Just become willing to tell the truth.

Can I stop?

Have I tried to stop and repeatedly returned?

Am I hiding the amount, frequency, cost, or nature of what I am doing?

Would I be embarrassed or frightened if my spouse, closest friend, board, or mentor knew the truth?

Am I increasingly arranging my life around access to this?

Has it begun affecting my judgment, relationships, health, finances, integrity, or responsibilities?

Am I using it primarily because I no longer know how to handle what I feel without it?

And perhaps the simplest question:

Is this beginning to master me?

If your answers trouble you, talk to someone qualified to help you evaluate them.

Do not wait until you can prove you have a serious problem.

Wisdom does not require catastrophe before it acts.

IF YOU’RE READY TO GET HELP

You do not have to figure out the entire road to recovery today. You simply need to take the next faithful step. Tell someone you trust the truth and connect with someone qualified to help you determine what comes next.

SAMHSA National Helpline
1-800-662-HELP (4357)
Free, confidential treatment referral and information for mental-health and substance-use disorders, prevention, and recovery, available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

FindTreatment.gov
A confidential and anonymous U.S. government resource for locating mental-health and substance-use treatment facilities throughout the United States and its territories.

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Call or text 988 if substance use, addiction, or another struggle has brought you to an immediate mental-health, substance-use, or emotional crisis.

Your Church
If your church has a recovery ministry, counseling ministry, or trusted pastoral staff member, that may be an excellent place to begin. If it does not, ask a trusted Christian leader to help you locate a qualified counselor, addiction professional, physician, or recovery program.

Don’t wait until you have everything figured out. Make one call. Tell one person the truth. Take one step.

The Strongest Leader in the Room

Go back to Daren.

Imagine two endings to his story.

In the first, Daren keeps managing appearances. He works harder. Hides better. Explains away the warning signs. Tells himself he can handle it. Promises himself that after this quarter, this acquisition, this crisis, this launch, or this particularly difficult season, he will deal with it.

Eventually something breaks.

Maybe his health.

Maybe his marriage.

Maybe his integrity.

Maybe his organization.

Maybe him.

But imagine another ending.

One evening Daren closes his office door. He sits quietly for several minutes and finally admits what he has known for months.

I need help.

Then the man who has spent thirty years making difficult decisions makes another one.

He picks up his phone.

Not to check email.

Not to solve another company’s problem.

Not to prove that he can keep going.

He calls someone he trusts and says, “I need to tell you the truth about something. I think I’m in trouble, and I need help.”

There is no applause.

No promotion.

No quarterly bonus.

No one posts the moment on LinkedIn.

But it may be one of the greatest acts of leadership of his life.

Because leadership has never been pretending that you have no weaknesses.

Leadership is faithful stewardship applied to what God has entrusted to you.

And that includes you.

If something is mastering you, hiding it is not strength.

Getting help is.

You do not have to finish recovery today.

But you do have to start.

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Five Coaching Questions

1. Is there anything in your life that is beginning to master you? Not merely something you enjoy or use regularly, but something you increasingly believe you need in order to function, cope, perform, escape, relax, feel valued, or feel normal.
2. What job is it doing for you? What does the substance, behavior, work pattern, achievement, or escape provide, suppress, numb, stimulate, or help you avoid?
3. What are you hiding? If there is something about your behavior that you desperately do not want your spouse, closest friend, mentor, pastor, counselor, physician, or trusted colleague to know, what does that secrecy tell you?
4. What has God entrusted to you that this behavior may eventually damage? Consider your body, marriage, children, integrity, judgment, testimony, organization, employees, finances, relationships, and influence.
5. Who is the one person you will tell the truth to? Not someday. Identify the appropriate person and decide what your next faithful step toward help will be.

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